Tuesday, November 20

Goodbye Grandma

So glad I drove to Indiana for my grandma's 80th birthday in July.
Even if she was only turning 79, or so she said.
Because that will be my very last memory of her.
She passed away yesterday afternoon.

When I saw her in July, I actually thought that it was her farewell tour.
I had never seen her look so old, so weak.
And I thought that regardless of her telling everyone all day that she wanted "everyone to see her and see that she was still kickin'" and that she "had beaten cancer", I had a feeling it was all talk.
This is the same woman who had cancer a year before she told anyone.
It's the way our family is, sadly.
In fact both sides of my family, sadly.
So, I'm glad I spent real time with her that day.
Had my camera in her face constantly.
Told her I loved her.

My grandma was never really a conventional grandma in any sense of the word.
My mother never referred to her as "your grandma" she always said, "my mom".
It was almost as if my mother didn't want to use a word that didn't fit.
I had a grandma, a full fledged, love-ya-to-death grandma already.
For years as a child she would literally be guessing which grandkid I was because she saw us so infrequently.
"Colleen? No, wait...Simone?" (and my sister and I never looked alike)

I think the thing that is most upsetting is that my mother's mother died.
And even though she was never really a mother except for giving birth to my mother, I could tell by my mother's voice last night when she called she was feeling sad.
And I never see my mother upset.
So, that is sad.

I had this picture sitting on my desk for about 2 months now.
In fact I had a lot of pictures from that trip to Indiana in July just sitting there.
And last night I just had to hurry and scrap it while I remember it so clearly.

I remember very well what she was like that last day I spent with her and I like to remember her for all the things she was before she got sick.

She bought a Trans Am when she turned 50 and sold it because she got too many speeding tickets.
She was the life of any party.
She loved turquoise jewlery.
She was a big fan of the box 'o wine.
She made incredible salsa.
And she was a tiny little lady with the biggest personality I've ever seen.

I'll miss ya grandma.


Rita said...

So sorry to hear about your grandma's passing. My sympathy to you & your family. Memories mean so much & you have some great ones of your grandma.

kathleenh said...

Thanks for sharing your memories of your grandma with us. You captured her beautifully in words. Big hugs to you and your family during this time.

Melissa said...

Oh Simone! I swear there is more loss of loved ones going around than any other time in my life!

Thank you for sharing your memories with us. Hang in there girl!

Many Blessings,

M!ssPr!ssy said...

Such a heartfelt post thanks so much for sharing these memories and a lovely tribute to your mom's mom. ;). My mother is 76 now and geesh your mom's mom wasn't that much older so it makes me think of my mom and how short life is. I think I'll go give her a call I wish she were closer. Big hugs to you and yours

Anonymous said...

I loved reading your Grandma memories so touching & honest.TY for sharing.

Crafty Connie said...

I am VERY sorry to hear of your loss. Thank goodness you have the memories from July and the pictures. Please accept my sympathies and pass them along to your Mom as well. May your Grandma rest in peace.

Kristi @ Mi Vida Ocupada said...

so sorry to hear about your grandma, Simone :( Glad you had some quality time with her for her farewell party last summer....

Paula said...

Aw, Simone, so sorry to hear that! You have some GREAT memories of her, though. I chuckled over the trans Am at 50, too many speeding tickets thing! {{{hugs}}}

Mimi said...

Oh Simone, I'm so, so sorry you lost a dear woman! May her Memory be Eternal.

I know what you mean, watching your mother mourn her mother is hard.

Love and hugs to you and your family during these difficult days. You will be in my prayers.

katemade designs said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cricket said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. What a wonderful picture of the three of you and it's a terrific layout!

Sending you hugs!

Greta Adams said...

oh simone i am so sorry for your loss {{{{{big 'o hugs 2 u}}}}}}}}


Melissa K. said...

So sorry to hear of your loss - I'm so happy for you though that you got to see her a final time for a celebration. Such a pretty job on scrapping the memories, too.

creativeapples said...

i am so sorry about your loss simone. big hugs to you and your family.

Donna Baker said...

{{HUGS}} to you for you & your family's loss. I know what you mean about the whole grandmother thing. I think a few generations back (Hispanic families) there was not a lot of affection, love, warm fuzzies going on, I know I had a few in my family too. I try to change that. Those are some good memories - she sounded like a strong woman.

Unknown said...

Simone, I'm so sorry for your loss. But I am thankful that you have so many wonderful memories of her. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. {{{Hugs!}}}

michelle sturgeon said...

I'm so sorry, Simone.

Michele Kovack said...

I am so sorry....your scrap page is a beautiful remembrance. Hugs to you. You are in my thoughts....

glo.riah said...

sorry to hear that,my thoughts are with you and your family.
lol that she had to give up her trans am b/c of speeding tickets!! sounds spunky!! :P
love the LO..all those pretty buttons!!

Lorrie said...

Oh Simone, so sorry to hear such sad news. Your Moms' Mom sounded like a firecracker, kinda like you. I am so glad you do have those memories from July. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Deborah said...

Nice memories of your Grandma! Great scrappin', you'll treasure that one! Blessings to you and your family.

blah said...

So sorry about your grandma. I love your memories of her. Hang in there.

Crafty in Calgary said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma. She sounded like an awesome lady. Big hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to here about your grandma. Big (((hugs))) from me.