Monday, April 17

Where do you draw the line?

As a parent, I make decisions all the time. Some simple, some not so simple. Some down right difficult. And sometimes, I make bad decisions or wrong decisions when I look back. I would say for the most part, I am usually right. I have to be, I'm the parent.
Well, as Max gets older and older, I find it difficult deciding when to stop some of the childhood nonsense. You know, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy kinda crap. I am sensitive to the elaborate imagination and gentle heart of my little boy, so I haven't stopped any of that silliness...yet. But the day will come. And, surprise, surprise....there is no big rabbit that sneaks into our house on Easter and hides not only eggs but a basket for him. I thought the nonsense of the eggs and basket of useless crap and candy was too much and needed to stop. There is no reason for a child of ten to still be getting a set of jacks and bubbles, it is just pointless. Plus, with our recently revelation that we indeed have WAY to many toys for only one child, we have been trying pretty successfully to lighten our load.
I explained to Max that he was "too old for an Easter basket" on Saturday. It was perfect timing because his Amazon package had arrived with two new books for him to read and we gave it to him...just because. Not because of any holiday where he should be expecting a gift. Not because he got a great grade.....just because he needed a new book to read.
He seemed fine. My mother called to ask him what he wanted her to buy him for Easter because, "I know your mother doesn't want you to have all that candy". And he politely told her that she didn't need to buy him anything.
I thought that was impressive.
And I was proud of myself for raising such a good kid.
Then, Easter morning came. 7:15 A.M. to be exact. I heard him get up and run like a banshee downstairs. Then I heard a frantic child running all over the house. I couldn't figure out what was going on. So, I got up went downstairs and there he stood with a blank look on his face.

ME: What??
MAX: There is no basket.
ME: Easter basket?
MAX: I looked everywhere and there is no basket for me.
ME: I thought we talked about this yesterd...
MAX: But...but....You mean no basket at all...nothing?
ME: You're too old for an Easter basket.
MAX: I'm still a kid, right?
ME: Well, yes...but...
MAX: Then I should get a basket.
ME: We talked about this, you're 10!
MAX: And you didn't even hide any eggs. (shaking his head in disbelief)
ME: I can hide some later, if you want to play.
MAX: Forget it....

There were no real tears, but he was upset. Not really mad, but sad. He looked like he had just seen his childhood slip away. It made me sad. He walked back upstairs and slept for 2 more hours making it very clear to me that not only had he woken up on purpose to find that basket, but that he was so upset he had to sleep it off.
When he woke up later, I could tell he was disappointed in his Easter morning and that no amount of french toast would make him feel better. I felt bad, so I just asked, "What did you want me to put in this basket you were hoping to find?" I figured maybe this way he would realize that the basket was pointless and that the gig is up...I'm the bunny! He looked at me and said, "Mom, I love to find that basket."
I know in my heart that it really wasn't a big deal, but apparently a bigger deal to him than I thought. Also, because he really didn't come downstairs for most of the day, I felt worse and worse about it. I know I bought him a "present" the day before. I know he didn't need a basket full of candy. I know I wouldn't let him eat a basket full of candy. I know he is too old for bubbles. I know he really didn't want another kite.
But, not filling that basket means he really isn't a little boy anymore.
He's growing up.
And these days will probably be more frequent for him when he realizes there is no Santa or he is too old to trick-or-treat. There comes a time to end all those things.
It would be different if I had younger children, maybe we would keep up the game a little longer, but he has to know that there are not presents for everything, enough is enough.
I'm sure he is at school today explaining to the class how he is the only child who didn't get a basket including the jewish boy!
And then this morning, I hear how grown people get baskets.....
Ok...fine.....I'm a bad parent.
Hi my name is Simone and I ruined Easter for my 10 year old.
(p.s. I did hide 38 plastic eggs yesterday morning while he was showering to cheer him up but he ran around and found only 27, then gave up!)


Mimi said...

Ohhhh, poor guy.

My 15 and 10 year old still get baskets - it's mostly candy now though.

Happy Easter!

Greta Adams said...

shit fire my mother still gives me an easter basket ...i am married with 2 kids...lmao...but hey if that's what you want to do he's you child you do what you want...when he has kids he ca do it until they are 30 if he feels like it...i do feel bad for him though....

gloria said...

Oh sweetie...

I feel so bad for *you*...I know what that feels like, as the parent.

So I guess now he will have a basket until he is 30??


gloria said...

LOL I didn't read everyone else's comment before hitting submit...greta threw the same number out I did! LOL